Of love and being neglected

The shades of crimson playing peekaboo with the dark monstrous clouds, creating havoc on the canvas. A few high rises and the eucalyptus trees in its silhouette avatar completed the frame. Naina took the flight of stairs and ran to catch a glimpse of the fading light amongst all of this. It had been quite some time since she had gone out and the gush of fresh air felt good. Adrenaline rushed through her as she remembered the days when she would be ready to go out at any time. Netra, on the other hand, was not so lucky and was still within the dark and damp dungeons for a few months straight now. She began to question her very existence. Is it worth living this way, she often questioned herself. A life not loving oneself is not worth living she had heard someone say. But then quitting is the easy way out. Fighting is where the challenge lay. The fight to reclaim their space. Something had caused both to change. Something. Was it the arrival of someone else, or just not being loved enough......

A moment with Netra

From the archives

It's not that I am not spending time with Netra, its just that I am not being able to show my world captured through Netra's eyes to the world. She is surely disappointed. I bought her the gift the other day, the one that allows you to add extra light to what you see. Unfortunately, I have not had the time to see her adorn that. Sometimes I wonder whether it was worth it. Instead I could have got her another lens. I am sure she would have been happier.

But then, mistakes happen. One cannot get stressed because of it. Just let it go.. and move on. I am sure Netra would understand that me not spending too much time with her, is no way a signifier of me not loving her.

My love for her has not died out and will not be. We just enjoyed the beautiful fall season. It was nature at its best. Netra could not stop smiling. And why should she? It is always great to see your loved one be happy. Even if its for the silliest thing you do. She kept making those weird click noises, which would perhaps disturb the birds in the trees or annoy people passing by. But I did not care. I was happy... as she was happy. As we walked through the woods, with she in my arms, and her arms around my neck, I felt blessed. I felt blessed for being able to spend the time with someone I loved dearly and be so close to her. I guess it was more special as I was spending so much time with her after a long time.

We sit in the cozy room arms in arms, staring across the window, at the naked trees. With shades of gray and brown only. The gloomy atmosphere slowly starts to set in. It's going to be a harsh winter ahead I hear. We perhaps will go to some other places during that time.

But before that I am taking Netra to Augusta and Atlanta. The time out of the boundaries of the home and also around a different part of the US should make her feel better. I know however I am not going to be showing a different culture, but I think introducing her to some of my other friends would be good. A love should not feel sad or jealous if the other lover loves to do something and feels happy doing it. I like to enjoy with my friends and I would love that Netra also enjoys their company. I have seen so many of my friends get into bad situations if this is not the case. Like they say, I am happy if you are happy, and vice versa.I could sense the jealousy within Netra, when in one of the past weeks my love was more showered towards the art of driving and those monster vehicles. I could also sense her sobbing in the confinement of her space, crying for attention. But I hope she understands that, that love was ephemeral and transitory. True love is always long lasting and I know for sure that my love for Netra is nothing short of it.

Love ya always.

Dark Times

From the archives

It was a dark evening.
The clouds enveloped over the city like a dark ocean over the skyscrapers.
The towers of the John Hancock and the Sears Towers appeared to be kissing the clouds and could drench the city at any instant.

Aboard the Odyssey, Netra and me, headed out onto the Lake.
A perfect romantic evening it was. She looked gorgeous in that black outfit of hers. The slanting candle light shone on her body and it glittered like gold. And why not. After all she was my babe. My Golden babe.

The chiaroscuro formed by the clouds, formed interesting patterns on the wake of the cruise. The sun kept playing hide and seek. With the gentle breeze and the rising waves , the water of the looked beautiful.
Standing at the deck, with water droplets hitting us from time to time, we stared at the skyline.
It was a truly romantic moment. A moment of being connected to each other. Far from the maddening crowd of the city, and in the arms of each other.

I had to be over protective of Netra and made sure that no water went on her sensitive skin. I did not want to send her to the hospital again so soon.



Observing the scene outside, we were wondering about the similar kind of situation that people go through in their life. At times, the clouds engulf the entire soul and even a single ray of light is enough to motivate them.

I remember many such instances in my life. Situations when there would be no one by my side, but Nikky. And these small small incidences in my life has increased my love for her a lot more.
I knew that come what may, in any situation , Netra would be by my side.
Always there to cheer me up.
Always there to motivate me.
Always showing me the light that is there, at times just beyond the clouds.
Every time I felt let down by someone, Netra was there for me. She helped me regain my faith in myself. She helped me rejuvinate everytime I came back tired.

When I tell her these things, she blushes. I can sense that. It's just that it is not evident on her face. She has always been very modest and perhaps will never understand the value that she holds in my life.

She is just too precious for me.

The date

From the archives

A bright Chicago Summer Day it was.

A perfect day for a date as one would say.
Not hot, and the cool breeze from the Lake Michigan making things very pleasant.

Hand in hand, we strolled on the Michigan Avenue.
Something was bothering me. I was feeling a bit strange. I had been with her since long, but the fact that I had people ogle at us was un-comforting.

What was stranger to me was the fact that, even though this was a country where people did all sorts of things at the name of PDA (public display of affection) they were staring at us. Why the hell do people have to stare? A glance is acceptable. But a stare is indeed inviting trouble.

Nevertheless, we continued to go step by step.

At times she also clung around my neck.

The Magnificent Mile Art Festival was on in its full glory at the Tribune Tower. One thing I love about Chicago is its appreciation of art and the support that it gives to artists.

It basically was a sale cum-exhibition of works of different artists across the country.

What really struck both of us was the inspiration that each of these artists possessed.
There were a couple of artists whose work was really inspiring. We also spoke to a few of them.
Talking to these artists one realizes that as a photographer its really important to keep oneself inspired and motivated at all times.

There are numerous instances when the art one creates would go unnoticed, but one needs to keep the patience and keep working towards the larger goal. The goal of being able to work on what one is passionate about.

So you have artists who spend a lifetime developing and mastering their style of art.
It takes a lot of patience, perseverance and hard work.

It was a great day spent together. We did not speak much though. All we did was get absorbed in the art in the air.

Lovely times together I should say.

Babe is fine and back

From the archives

Thank you all for the good wishes.
I got my babe back yesterday.

The last couple of days had been hard on me.
So much so, that people actually noticed it...
Said another colleague,
"Whats wrong? Why are you low today?"
How do I tell her what I was missing? Though she knew about my babe, perhaps she could not understand my affection for my love. And I did not want to spend my energy in convincing her.

Waiting for my babe at the hospital, I met two other ladies. One had come to take her lover back and the other was just admitting her one who was very was serious. I had a chance to see him. Short, black, and I could make out he was from the same clan as my love. He had a fracture in the skull. His body parts did not function well. I felt really sorry for the lady. Her voice was so low when she was speaking to the nurse and I could feel the pain myself.

At this moment, the first lady, who also happened to be a regular visitor to the hospital said that for such situations she always had another body with her. It was like saying that she had two people she loved a lot and one susbtituted for the other when one was hospitalised. Felt odd about it.
How could you have two lovers at the same time? It is something that is impossible for me. Its always been just one. Maybe the lady's profession demanded it. I remember having to compleely forget and give up my old love when we broke up and put in all my affection for this new one.
Having multiple lovers at the same time would definitely lead to jealousy and above all a storm in the mind with all the confusion around.

Soon, holding my babe, the nurse appeared. The moment I got her back, I could feel my heart jumping with joy. This also seemed to be showing on my face, as I saw the nurse smiling at me.

God!!! They, had her wrapped up in plastic. But then it perhaps was for that extra precaution. Felt bad thinking about all the pain she would have had to undergo at the operation table. Those instruments would have hurt. I hope the anaethesia worked properly. I even hate the nauseating smell of it and those instruments sends shivers within me. I feel cold just at the thought of it.

My babe smiled at me. We smiled at the other ladies and at the nurse.
Together we were one again. Me and she. Me promising to take care of her all the more from now on. She promising to keep serving me with the same vigour as when we had first met.

Today I am going on a date with my babe. We are thinking of trying a new location.

Till we are back.
Adios.

My babe is sick

From the Archives.

So sick that I had to hospitalize her.
And every moment I spend without her is so painful.
I am sure everyone who loves someone would understand it.

I remember the day when we came together. It seemed like we were waiting for years.
The thirst in me to possess her was unexplainable.
At the same time I was ecstatic.
My months of patience had finally paid off.
I was finally going to have her. And me and she... we were going to be one.
I had not told my parents about it. I remember it was only after 6 months I told them the details of our relationship.
My friends were jealous of me, but at the same time happy for me.

The first time I touched her body, I could feel her getting shy. Though she was unresponsive.Or perhaps she was responding, and I was just not able to feel it.
Over the years we became best of friends, soulmates. I would not go anywhere without her.
She became an unseparable part of me. People recognised us as one. Either was incomplete without the other.

I have taken so much care of her, been very careful while handling her.
But she is just too sensitive.
A little bit of heat or dust or rain and she is not able to resist it.
The last time she was sick, I had her cured on the same day.
However this time the wait is longer.
The nurse who was taking her away to the chambers was a bit rough while handling her and I could hear my heart shout at her.
I requested the doctor to take special care of her. He assured me to look after her with extra care and to get her cured well.
There were other patients in the hospital. I am sure they must have been loved ones of someone.

Its funny how the heart aches when you get detached for a short while from the people or thing you love.
People would show emotions. Things however do not.

Every second of the wait is killing me. I wait for her return. So that we could explore new horizons together again.
The list of places is long and the time short.

I feel incomplete without her.
I miss her so much.

I miss my Nikon.